I was never very good at keeping my mouth shut about anything, although post-baby this is a skill that I am apparently honing. When I was pregnant it amazed me how many people believed that they were entitled to have a say in what I should/should not do/eat/drink etc. and if anything that gets much more intense once the little bundle is born.

Exhibit A:

In response to myself mentioning to a work colleague that I was breastfeeding (Riley was 10 months at the time): “oh no, you have to get them on the bottle early so they get used to it.” At this point I’m thinking to myself I don’t know how people can be bothered with the whole bottle/formula thing because it seems to me so much more complicated. But I manage a more polite version of this at the time.

Exhibit B:

I was at the park the other day with Riley, who has entered tantrum stage in a big way. It gets worse whenever we are around increased number of people because I have to remove her from certain situations which usually ends in tears – mainly because she finds it deeply offensive for me to do anything for her at the moment. I mention to my sister that about a third of Riley’s awake time is spent having a tantrum. She says “oh she’s just figuring stuff out”. Seems innocuous enough right? But this type of comment irritates me for a swag of reasons. 1) I am her mother of course I know that the reason why she is having tantrums is due to her level of frustration at not being able to communicate what she wants; and 2) It’s very easy to be dismissive of how exhausting it can be with a tantrum-ing toddler when you’re not with them 24/7. But I don’t say anything because it’s not that particular comment that is irritating it’s the ten others like it that have the cumulative effect of turning me into a raving lunatic.

Exhibit C:

The hordes of parents who have told me (repeatedly) that I just need to let her cry and that by the time I have a second that’s exactly what I will do. Or even my mother who I can feel cringing through the phone anytime she hears that I have given Riley something to eat that wasn’t made from scratch.

In my past life I would have given each and everyone of them a piece of my mind, but in the end I opt to not dignify any of it and tune it out and go with my instinct anyway.

Beyond all of that, what really drives me to distraction is when people talk through the baby. More than any other time that is when I struggle to keep my composure. Such wonderful passive aggressive statements such as “isn’t your mother silly for not putting away the washing”, “you’re feet/hands are cold/hot”, or even speaking for the baby, “I’m hungry mum” – you get the idea. Here’s a tip, if you have something to say be direct – being indirect doesn’t make you more sensitive or gentle it just makes you cowardly and unable to stand behind your own opinion.